


Some People Never Change (Until They Do)

by Cottonstones



Category: JJAMZ, Panic At The Disco, Phantom Planet, The Like, Young Veins
Genre: Animal Transformation, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-12
Updated: 2012-06-12
Packaged: 2017-11-07 13:18:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/431613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cottonstones/pseuds/Cottonstones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan's clothes are lying in a pool on the bed. On top of those clothes is a medium-sized praying mantis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some People Never Change (Until They Do)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Bandom Rare Pairings Challenge](http://bandomrarepair.livejournal.com/). Title partially taken from "Change" by the Young Veins.

Ryan is sitting outside, tucked under the shade of a huge, leafy tree in the back of Alex’s yard. His guitar is in his lap, so he plucks out a few notes, a couple of spare thoughts of things he needs to remember to bring up to Jon later. Alex is a few feet away, bouncing a basketball against the dark, hard pavement that makes up the corner of his backyard. Ryan plucks out a few more notes and tries to use the bouncing as a makeshift drum beat. 

"Ross," Ryan vaguely hears Alex say, but it doesn't sound too important, so he doesn't really bother to look up. "Ryan Ross-y," Alex singsongs. This time, Ryan looks up, shielding his eyes from the sun with his hand. 

"What's up, Greenwald?" 

"You should come play some ball with me," Alex says. Ryan scoffs. 

"Basketball isn't really my game," he says. Now, it's Alex's turn to scoff. 

"What game is?" 

Ryan flips him off with a tight smile, the other hand that had been wrapped around the neck of the guitar now resting in the slightly overgrown patch of grass that Ryan is sitting on. He’s just about to get up and join Alex when he feels a sharp pain on the back of his hand. Ryan looks over to see this huge monster of a bug attached to the back of his hand.

"Fuck!" Ryan yells as he waves his hand around almost wildly, the green monster bug releasing him and hopping away into Alex's overgrown backyard. 

"What's wrong?" Alex calls, dribbling the ball around the court, oblivious to Ryan's attack. 

"Some kind of fucking mutant bug just attacked me! It bit my hand," Ryan says. He rubs over the back of his right hand. There's a dull, throbbing pain and two tiny little marks from the bug’s teeth. 

"Probably a mantis," Alex says nonchalantly. "There are a lot of them around back here." 

"You could've warned me!" Ryan huffs. The pain in his hand has subsided, but the little teeth marks remain. 

Ryan and Alex hang around his place for a few more hours. Ryan eventually has to leave to go and meet Jon at the airport; he slides his guitar back into its sleek, black case and into the backseat of his car. Alex is next to him, rambling about how it would be a better idea just to leave the guitar here, because Jon's suitcase has got to fit into the back seat, too. Ryan ignores him and slides into the driver's seat. Alex walks around the car to the driver's side and Ryan rolls down his window. 

"You'll come over tonight, right?" he asks. "You know, so we can go over some tracks?" Alex nods and brushes a hand through his dark, shaggy hair. 

"Yeah. Give me a call after you get Walker." 

***

Ryan is maybe fifteen minutes late picking Jon up. Jon doesn't seem too pissed off. His luggage is sitting by his flip-flop-clad feet and his cell phone is in his hands. 

"Yeah, I'm...I'm coming in right now," Ryan mumbles into his cell. He can hear Jon laughing softly on the other end. 

"I don't see you yet," Jon replies. "Are you on the escalator?" 

"Right now," Ryan says. He scratches absentmindedly at the bite mark on the back of his hand. 

"Oh, you know, I think I see you," Jon starts, "unless a lot of people are suddenly wearing hats with feathers in them."

Ryan scans the top level of the airport until he spots Jon with his cell pressed to his ear and a grin on his face. 

"Yeah, that's definitely you," Jon says. Ryan is about to respond, but then he sees Jon hanging up and hears the soft click of the line going dead. Ryan closes up his own cell and pockets it, rounding his shoulders as he makes his way to Jon. He has his arms open in an awaiting hugging motion and Ryan sighs, his cheeks flushing slightly as he slides into Jon's arms. 

Ryan's taller, but Jon is more solid and, embarrassingly, is able to lift Ryan up off the ground with ease. 

"Okay, I missed you too, Jon." Ryan's voice is muffled against Jon's worn, gray t-shirt. Jon releases Ryan and picks up his suitcase. 

"Are you going to take me out to eat in retribution for being late?" Jon asks as they ride back down the escalator. Ryan scoffs. 

"I'll buy you a burger on the drive home," Ryan suggests. Jon nods. 

"Good enough." 

***

About an hour later, Jon has settled at Ryan's place, his suitcase in the guestroom and he and Ryan out on the couch, messing with some melodies that Ryan had thought of. Jon's wearing his dark sunglasses and talking about how they should be smoking a bowl right now for inspirational purposes. Ryan pushes at Jon and he falls easily onto his back on the couch, his bare feet pressing against Ryan's thighs. Ryan plays the same melody and Jon hums softly along with the music. 

Alex winds up calling Ryan and asking if he can come over now or if Jon and Ryan need more alone time. Ryan tells him to shut the fuck up and come over. He does and they all work on some songs, fuck around on Twitter...and Jon attempts to cook despite Ryan's absolute lack of ingredients. 

They don't sleep until nearly four in the morning, Alex going first, then Jon, then Ryan. Oddly enough, Ryan's hand aches slightly as he tries to fall asleep. He curses Alex Greenwald and his stupid praying mantises. 

***

Alex wakes up before either Jon or Ryan are awake. Waking up early is a habit that he can never quite shake. He starts the coffee maker, which he figures will lure Jon out of bed, though Ryan usually can't be budged when he's sleeping in. 

Sure enough, just as Alex is pouring his first cup of coffee, Jon comes shuffling out into the kitchen. He grumbles a greeting as he makes his way towards the coffee maker. Alex smiles – good, he's got one of them awake. Now, if he could just get Ryan's lazy ass to wake up so that they could get some more work done on the album... 

Alex decides to give Ryan a few more minutes of precious sleep as he checks Twitter, Jon roaming around sleepily, sipping at his coffee. When Alex is done giving Ryan more time, he pads not-so-quietly into his room, intent on resorting to jumping on him to wake him up (that's what Jon said Brendon used to do to wake him, after all). Alex goes into the room, fully resolved on leaping onto Ryan, but skids to a stop in front of his bed.

Where Ryan should be, there's nothing – well, no, not nothing. His clothes are lying in a pool on the bed. On top of those clothes is a medium sized praying mantis. Alex tilts his head slightly and thinks about this. Apparently, Ryan's place has mantises, too; Alex should really call some kind of city representative about this. Okay, so the mantis probably got in through an open window or door, but that still doesn't make up for the fact that Ryan is missing and presumably naked. 

Alex keeps one eye on the insect, who's sitting frozen on Ryan's bed as he goes to the bedroom door. 

"Hey... Jon," Alex calls, his gaze fixing back on the mantis. 

"Yeah?" Jon's voice floats into the air. From the sounds of it, he's still in the kitchen. 

"Have you, uh... seen Ross around?" 

Alex waits. He thinks maybe the mantis just moved, but he can't be too sure. 

"Last time I saw him, he was sleeping," Jon answers. 

Alex turns back to the bed. He walks over and bends down so that he's eye to eye with the bright-green creature. 

"Hey, there, do you know where Ryan is?" Alex asks. It’s kind of ridiculous, because he's asking an insect a question, and, yeah, the bug can't actually answer. The mantis blinks at Alex and Alex blinks back. Alex straightens back up, stretches, and cracks his back. "I bet Ryan brought you in here, didn't he, little mantis?" Alex starts. "Some kind of payback, I guess, because he got bit by one of your siblings yesterday, and..." He trails off and stares at the bug, who's moving his large, curved, claw-like front legs in a flailing motion. Alex stares harder at the praying mantis. 

"...Ryan?" he asks.

The mantis starts flailing its body around, making weird, hissing noises. It flails so hard that the bug falls right off the edge of Ryan's bed. Alex worries for a moment, but the mantis pops back up on the floor, still flailing around. "Oh, shit...you have to be Ryan. The resemblance is uncanny," Alex says. 

The insect that may or may not be Ryan Ross just hisses, but he lets Alex bend down and offer his palm face-up for him to walk onto. The mantis crawls up onto Alex's palm and it tickles. Ryan – if it is really him, anyway – is actually a hell of a lot bigger than Alex thought he was, maybe even close to a foot tall. 

"Just don't...don't bite me or anything," Alex tells him. Ryan hisses out a small response. Alex leaves the room with Ryan standing on his upturned palm; he moves slowly enough that Ryan won't go toppling off his hand and onto the floor. He's intent on finding Jon and seeing if maybe he knows if Ryan had turned into an insect during the night. 

Jon is sitting in the living room on the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table and a mug of coffee between his hands, laptop resting on his outstretched leg. 

"Hey, Jon," Alex begins. Jon turns his head slightly to properly look at Alex. His eyes meet Alex's for a split second before they instantly train on the large bug resting in Alex's hand. 

"What the hell is that, Alex?" Jon asks. Alex makes a little 'O' shape with his mouth as he looks down at the mantis. 

"Well, it's a praying mantis," Alex says. He blinks at Ryan a few times before he meets Jon's gaze.

"Why's it in the house?" Jon asks. He carefully sits up, moving his laptop aside and setting his coffee mug on the table where his feet previously had been. Jon stands from the couch and backs away just slightly. Alex grins. 

"Jon, don't tell me a real boy like you is afraid of a little bug?" Alex mocks. Jon glares at him. 

"I'm not scared of them, okay? They're just...look at it, Alex! It's weird-looking!" Jon points out. Ryan starts hissing again. "And it sounds pissed. Why don't you just go put it back outside?" he asks, his eyes meeting Alex's and promptly ignoring the mantis. Alex shakes his head. 

"I can't," Alex begins. Jon now has his hands on his hips. 

"Why not?" 

"Because this is no ordinary praying mantis, Jon!" Alex says. "This particular mantis happens to be our dear friend, Ryan Ross."

Jon stares at him for a second and then starts laughing loudly, body shaking with laughter. He keeps laughing for about a minute until he wipes his eyes and notices that Alex is still holding the mantis and the look on his face is way too serious.

"I'm not joking, dude," Alex says. Jon can hear the edge in his voice, can only stare.

He steps closer, eyes wide open, and speaks, voice too soft. "Shit. We didn't smoke that much yesterday."

"Jon," Alex answers quickly, tone warning.

Jon is standing right in front of him now, observing the mantis closely. His timing is perfect, because it starts to move its claws around again. The movement is so awkward and ridiculous, it’s like the mantis, like Ryan, is trying to tell them something. 

Ryan starts to walk around on Alex's palm, so he quickly bows down to put him on the ground, not wanting Ryan to fall on the floor a second time.

As soon as he hits the floor, he starts to move, walking in a straight line to the corner where he always puts his guitar. Alex throws Jon a look, but Jon just rolls his eyes, because no, Ryan cannot be an insect, it’s impossible. The two men watch as the mantis that may or may not be Ryan Ross makes its way over to the guitar that's sitting in the corner. He manages to claw its way up the face of the guitar, claws hooking on strings and making sharp, little noises echo out into the air. 

Ryan has his front legs hooked on the strings of the guitar, moving them like it wants to play the instrument. Ryan manages to create more sharp notes, but they're nothing that could actually be considered music. A heavy feeling slides into the pit of Jon's stomach, because the mantis is looking back at him and making tiny, sad-sounding hissing noises. 

"Oh..." Jon looks over at Alex who is giving him an 'I fucking told you so!' look before he looks over at the mantis, who's clinging to the guitar. "Ryan....this is insane," Jon says with a small, almost hysterical laugh, because people just don't turn into bugs! They just don't! "Ryan, is that you?" Jon asks. He dares to take a few steps closer to the guitar. The mantis is hissing loud and rapid. It flails some more, enough that it slides down the face of the guitar and onto the floor. 

"Believe me now, Jon?" Alex asks as he moves back over to scoop up Ryan, who’s lying listlessly on the floor. Ryan easily crawls up into Alex's hand, his large, oval eyes watching Jon's form. "You want to hold him?" Alex asks, motioning to Ryan. Jon shakes his head and unconsciously takes a few steps backwards. Yeah, Ryan is a praying mantis, but Jon still doesn't like them. 

"Ah, no, I'm good." 

Ryan hisses pitifully and looks up at Alex. Alex looks back at him and nods. 

"Aw, you hurt his feelings, Jon," Alex says, petting the index finger of his free hand against Ryan's bright-green head. Ryan hisses even more pitifully than before. Jon rolls his eyes. 

"I'm sorry, Ryan," Jon responds. Ryan flicks his front claws around. 

Alex and Jon stand there for a few moments, just watching Ryan, who’s resting in Alex's palm. 

"So, uh... how did this happen, you think?" Jon asks. Alex meets Jon's gaze and shrugs slightly. 

"You know, I really don't know. Maybe it's some kind of karmic retribution?" Alex suggests. Jon sighs and Ryan starts up with a whole new round of violent hisses. "Or it could be because Ryan got bit by a praying mantis in my backyard yesterday." 

"Since when do people turn into the insects that bite them?" Jon asks. He really has no fucking idea what to do beyond freak out or go smoke until this situation makes sense. Alex shrugs again as he turns away from Jon and heads to the guest bedroom where he slept. "Where are you going, Greenwald?" 

"This definitely needs to be documented, possibly via Twitpics," Alex replies. Jon's eyes widen a bit and he follows Alex. 

"Alex! You can't talk about this on Twitter! As unbelievable as it seems, this is actually serious!" Jon tries to reason with Alex. He sits down on the edge of his bed, placing Ryan down next to him. Ryan rubs his two curved front legs together. Jon is standing by with hesitation. 

"Fine, what do you think we should do?" Alex asks. Jon scratches a hand through his shaggy hair. If he's being honest, his first thought is to call Spencer and ask if Ryan's ever had spontaneous bouts where he turns into a foot-tall insect – but, when they decided to split, Spencer had demanded Jon to take good care of his best friend. Maybe telling him that said best friend is now a praying mantis – well, that's just not a good idea.

"Um...maybe I should go Google some stuff? Like...what he eats?" Jon asks. Alex nods. "Can you watch him?" Alex shoots him a thumbs up and Jon keeps a careful eye on Ryan as he leaves the room. 

Jon winds up looking up information about praying mantises. He learns that Ryan seems to be a larger species of praying mantis, the kind that, according to Wikipedia, eats small lizards and other smaller insects. Jon balks at the idea of feeding Ryan bugs and he's sure that Ryan won't be too happy to hear about that particular piece of information, either. Jon is just about to go back to Alex and Ryan when an alert from his Twitter shows up. Against his better judgment, he checks the tweet, and, sure enough, it's one from Alex: a picture – more importantly, a picture of a very pissed-off-looking mantis. 

"Alex!" Jon calls. 

"It was just one!" Alex shouts back, "and I didn't even mention Ryan!" Jon gives in, because he can't actually control Alex Greenwald.

Jon keeps looking up information on the lives and habits of mantises. A lot of this information probably won't come in handy. There's something about their mating habits. Jon is tempted to skip over this section, but then he catches the word 'cannibalism' and he's suddenly paying attention. Apparently, mantises are cannibalistic and the females will often engage the males for sex before eating them. This somehow seems like something that could very much happen to Ryan. He's suddenly very, very worried. 

"Alex," Jon calls from the living room. There's nothing but silence in response. "Alex!" Jon calls again and, again, there's no response. Jon sets his laptop aside and scrambles up off the couch and through the house back to the guest bedroom. The room is empty, but, through the windows in the room, Jon can see Alex standing out in the backyard, staring at the slightly overgrown grass. Jon swears softly, because he's seen other mantises around Ryan's backyard, and what if one of them wanted to mate with him or worse...eat him?

Jon jogs out of the room and through the backdoor that leads out into the backyard. Alex looks up from the ground with a small smile on his face; said smile quickly fades away at the wide-eyed expression on Jon's face. 

"What's wrong, Jo - " 

"Alex! Why did you bring Ryan outside?" Jon asks. He wants to rush forward, but fuck! Everything is green and Ryan is green and he could totally accidentally step on his friend-turned-insect. Alex looks more than surprised at Jon's urgency. Okay, maybe his lack of mantis knowledge isn't exactly his fault, but he could be a little more careful with Ryan. 

"I thought he'd like some fresh air," Alex responds. He sounds so innocent that Jon really can't stay mad at him. 

"Well, I just think we should keep him inside. There are a lot of dangers for mantises, you know?"

Alex laughs. "Dude, don't cock-block him. Ryan's about to get some mantis ass." 

Jon's eyes widen again. He rushes to Alex's side, his eyes trained carefully on the ground. Finally, he spots the mantis that looks like Ryan; he can only be sure that it’s him due to the flailing. There's another mantis maybe a foot away from Ryan and it's hissing at him, high-pitched and brightly. Jon thinks this might be the girl mantis. Ryan tilts his oval head up at Jon and hisses what sounds like an urgent plea to Jon. Jon – well, he still doesn't like mantises, but his need to protect Ryan is greater than that dislike and, in a flash, he's scooped Ryan up into his hands. 

Ryan's long insect limbs tickle against Jon's palm and his front claws click slightly. Ryan hisses in what Jon is taking as a grateful manner. 

"Why are you freaking out?" Alex asks. He watches as the other mantis hisses angrily at Jon, who waves his flip-flop-clad foot at the bug, shooing it away. "I know he's a bug, but, dude, bugs survive in the wild every day!" Alex points out. Ryan's claws click again and Jon rolls his eyes. 

"Yeah, but Ryan's not a bug! He can barely keep himself alive as a human!" Ryan turns his head almost all the way around to look at Jon with those large, red-tinted oval eyes. It's fucking creepy. "Sorry, but you know it’s true, Ryan," Jon tells him. He almost feels foolish for talking to a bug, to something that can't talk back. 

"I have faith that you could survive, Ross. I'm on your side!" Alex proclaims, as if that makes the whole situation better. Jon sighs deeply and takes a moment to collect his thoughts. He doesn't have a whole lot to work with here, because when has this ever happened in the history of forever? Jon opens his eyes, not remembering exactly when he closed them, and looks at Alex. 

"Listen, Alex, I'm just going to go ahead and take over caring for Ryan, okay?" Jon tells him. Alex shrugs like it doesn't matter either way. 

"Can I still help out?" he asks. Jon nods – he's sure that he'll need some assistance in caring for Ryan. 

***

"The first thing we need to do is find a place for him to sit safely," Jon says. He, Alex, and Ryan had relocated to the living room. Ryan is now sitting on the coffee table next to Jon's open laptop. Jon and Alex are occupying the couch. Jon kind of wishes he had more coffee. 

"Maybe we should call Spencer?" Alex suggests.

"Sure. If you really want to face the wrath of a pissed-off Spencer Smith, go for it," Jon replies. Alex drops that suggestion right away. 

"Okay, well, I think I have a good place for Ryan to sit," Alex tells the room at large. Jon raises an eyebrow and looks over at Ryan, who’s sitting morosely on the table, his antennas twitching. Ryan is just about the saddest-looking praying mantis Jon has ever seen. 

"It’s not a jar, is it?" Jon presses. Alex blinks a few times, shifting almost suspiciously. 

"Um...no?"

"Alex!"

"Well, I used to put caterpillars in a jar when I was a kid!" he says defensively. 

"Ryan's way too big for a jar – and, besides, how long did those caterpillars live?" Jon asks. Ryan clicks his front legs in agreement. 

"I don't know. My mom used to let them out while I was sleeping." 

"Okay," Jon starts, "do we have a shoebox, maybe? A shoebox could work." 

Alex thinks for a few moments, his fingers tapping against his chin. "Ryan probably has some in his bedroom." He stands up from the couch and goes towards Ryan's room. Ryan flails around a bit and Jon crosses his arms. 

"I know a shoebox isn't ideal, Ryan, but it’s the best we've got." 

Alex returns from Ryan's room, carrying a large, rectangular shoebox. He smiles at Jon and sets the box down next to Ryan on the coffee table. Alex takes a step back and looks at Ryan expectantly. Ryan's oddly-shaped mantis head tilts in Alex's direction, then in Jon's, and then he turns to look at the box next to him. Ryan hisses and turns back to Jon's laptop, his back facing the box. 

"He hates it," Alex sighs. 

"Well," Jon starts, sitting up, leaning forward slightly. "Maybe he needs like, some sticks and leaves and shit," Jon says as he turns his laptop to face Alex and Ryan. On the screen is a picture of a bright-green mantis, one that looks a lot like Ryan, in its natural habitat. "Do you want some leaves, Ryan?" Jon asks. Ryan hisses pitifully again and slumps down on the coffee table. 

"Maybe he's hungry?" Alex asks. He might be, because Ryan often forgets to eat and Jon can't really remember the last time they did. 

"Could be...but I don't know if he's actually going to eat what mantises have to eat," Jon starts. He clicks a few things on the laptop and scrolls down, his eyes flickering over the page. "It says they eat leaves sometimes," Jon says as he looks over at Alex. 

"I'll go get the foliage," Alex tells Jon. He gives a little salute as he heads back outside. 

Jon sighs and sinks back into the couch. He moves his legs up, the top of his feet curling over the edge of the table. Ryan sits motionless on the table. It sort of makes Jon's chest ache, because this can't be easy for him. 

"It'll be alright, Ryan." 

Ryan sits up at the mention of his name. He stares with those big, oval eyes at Jon before he stands up and slowly crawls over the tops of Jon's feet. It tickles and Jon has to fight the natural instinct to brush Ryan off him. He doesn't; he lets Ryan crawl over his feet and skitter up his right leg. Jon can't even feel the pressure of Ryan walking up his body. Ryan's long, spindly legs move across Jon's stomach and Jon turns the hand resting on his chest over, palm face-up so that Ryan can sit in it if he wants to. Ryan does sit in the center of Jon's palm, the long back end of his body brushing against Jon's skin. 

Jon's flesh crawls slightly, but he remembers that it's just Ryan. What Ryan needs more than anything is protection, affection, comfort. 

"I...don't worry, okay? I promise I'll think of something," Jon says, almost reaching out with his free hand to touch Ryan – but he can't. Mantises– they just freak him out. Jon hears the back door open and bang shut again. Alex is humming as he comes back to the living room, his hands full of leaves and sticks. 

"See? No problem. I got some nice, delicious leaves for you, Ryan," Alex says as he drops the gathered nature down into the cardboard box. Ryan's head swivels around to face the box, but his body remains facing Jon – and, yeah, that never stops being creepy. Ryan stares for a few, long moments, but he must be hungry, because, suddenly, he's jumping off of Jon's hand and into the air. He has wings? Jon didn't know that mantises had wings or that they could fly.

Huh, Ryan has really pretty wings. There are two sets of them. One set is on the upper part of Ryan's back and these are arched up, almost translucent. The lower set of wings is more circular, yellow, with black spots on them. 

Ryan glides through the air and lands easily on the coffee table. He looks up at Alex for a moment before he skitters over to the shoe box. Ryan uses his curved, powerful claws to climb the side of the box. Somehow, he manages to be just a little more graceful as a mantis than as a human. Ryan gets himself into the shoebox and Jon watches as he grabs up a large, green leaf in his claws, holding it carefully; he slowly starts to eat it. 

Ryan hisses in what could be disdain, but he doesn't stop eating his leaf. Alex looks over at Jon. 

"Looks like he likes it."

Jon nods. 

"If he can just eat leaves till we think of a way to turn him back, that would be good." He really doesn't want to have to go out hunting for bugs or lizards and he doesn't really think Ryan will want to eat them. Jon can hear Ryan crunching on the leaf, leaving little bite marks in the foliage. Alex plops down next to Jon on the couch and runs fingers through his shaggy hair. 

"So, any ideas how to turn him back?" Alex asks, his head tipping back against the couch. He looks at Jon. Really? No. Jon has no ideas on how to turn Ryan back into a person. He shrugs lightly and watches Ryan again. "Google?" Alex presses, poking a finger against Jon's shoulder, and Jon shrugs him off. 

He gathers back up his laptop as Ryan quietly eats his leaf. Jon searches for any information regarding people turning into praying mantises, nut all he finds are a lot of old folk lore stories that don't have happy endings, where the person who becomes the mantis remains a mantis. He also finds a lot of facts about praying mantises and the legend about how the insect got its name. 

There's nothing about real people turning into mantises, nothing that can help him turn Ryan back into a human. Ryan finishes his leaf and starts hissing, most likely trying to gain their attention. Jon lifts his gaze to meet Ryan's. He's clicking his front claws together again like he's pissed off. 

"Wish we could understand you, Ryan," Alex says. Jon hums in agreement. 

"Okay, look, Ryan, we'll set up a system, alright?" Jon starts. "If we ask you a question or something, I want you to click your claws once for 'yes' and twice for 'no,' alright?" 

Ryan looks at him for a long moment before he clicks his curved front legs once. 

"You're a genius, Jon Walker," Alex tells him, patting Jon's shoulder. Jon doesn't really think he's done much of anything at all. 

"So," Jon begins, "do you want to keep eating the leaves?" He gets a quick two clicks in response. 

"Hey, those are good quality leaves, Ross! It's not like I went and got the shitty ones," Alex points out. 

"Do you want me to try and find you something else to eat?" Jon asks. One click. "You know it’s going to end up being something like....lizards or bugs, right?" Jon adds. One click. "And you're willing to eat them?" One click. Jon sighs and pushes up off the couch. "Okay, I'll try to find some."

Jon leaves Alex inside with Ryan. He thinks by now that Alex will probably be able to keep Ryan safe. Jon knows that there are lizards roaming around Ryan's backyard, small, brownish lizards who sometimes invade Ryan's room. Jon has to go and get them out, but he's never had to catch one with the intent of killing it. He walks around the backyard; he's flip-flop-free because it's warm out and he likes the feeling of the grass on his bare feet.

Jon walks around the edge of the bushes surrounding the far side of Ryan's property. Lizards usually come scurrying out from around that area. He rustles the bushes and waits; he does this again and again to no avail. He's still at it five minutes later when Alex comes out to see if he's been successful, but Jon tells him to go back inside and keep an eye on Ryan. 

Jon finally tires and sits down on the grass, his legs folded. He's still in reach of the bushes, so he reaches out and shakes it, hoping for something to come out. Sure enough, a little brown lizard darts out from the shrubbery. Jon flails around in the grass to catch it, but Ryan's yard is too long and the lizard is too fast. Maybe that first time he caught a lizard in Ryan's room was a total fluke? 

Jon keeps up this system of searching for a lizard for what feels like forever but is only really about an hour-and-a-half. The afternoon sun is hot on his back and he can hear the faint pulse of music wavering out from inside of the house. Jon sighs and shakes the bush again. Once again, a lizard darts out, bigger and slower than the first one, and Jon scrambles out of his sitting position, legs stiff from the way he was sitting. He winds up crawling through the shaggy grass on his hands and knees. He practically has to lunge forward to finally capture the reptile between his cupped hands. 

Jon sits up triumphantly with the small creature squirming around inside his closed hands. It's almost as creepy as having Ryan walk on him. Jon has finally caught something for Ryan to eat and now comes the hard part: actually killing said lizard. Jon takes the lizard back inside. Alex is playing music off his iPod on the dock in the kitchen. Ryan is sitting inside his shoebox, swaying back and forth to the Beatles song that's playing. Jon watches for a few long moments. Ryan's long, bright-green body is settled down in the middle of the leaves and sticks that Alex had collected earlier. The top half of Ryan's body is moving almost to the same beat of the song. 

Alex turns around and notices Jon standing there, hands cupped together in front of him. 

"You caught something!" he says, astonished. Jon nods. 

"A lizard." 

"Cool!" Alex turns to face a now-stilled Ryan. "Ryan, do you want to eat a lizard?" 

Jon waits to hear the clicking system. Ryan seems to be thinking, though Jon isn't sure. Finally, though, one click comes. Jon's surprised. Alex doesn't seem as surprised. 

"Alright, cool. Jon, kill the lizard so that we can give it to him," Alex says. Jon lifts an eyebrow. 

"I spent almost two hours catching it! Why can't you kill it?" 

Alex looks taken aback. "Dude, I can't kill that lizard," he says as he moves over to Jon and peeks into the little space between Jon's cupped hands.

"Why not?" Jon sighs. Seriously, he doubts he can kill this thing. He's kind of a big fan of live and let live. 

"What if this lizard is like...the Alex Greenwald of lizards? What if the Jon Walker and Ryan Ross of lizards are waiting for him to come back so that they can all be best friends and make happy lizard music together?" 

"Alex, are you serious right now?" Jon asks, because, come on, really? Jon sighs again. "Alex, grab me a cup," Jon tells him. Alex does what he asks and hands Jon over a clear cup. Jon quickly sets the dazed lizard down on the counter and the cup over him. 

The lizard claws at the side of the glass, trying to knock it over and escape. Jon feels really, really bad for it; he really just kind of wants to talk Ryan into settling for eating the leaves. Ryan is staring at the lizard in the glass and Jon wonders what he's thinking. 

"Just kill it, Jon!" Alex says, prodding Jon in the shoulder. 

"If I were even going to, how would I go about doing so?" Jon asks in response. 

"Um, I think I have a hammer somewhere..." Alex trails off. Jon's eyes widen. 

"Okay, you're not killing it." 

Alex and Jon's arguing is suddenly interrupted by the clatter of the shoebox tipping over, the sharp clatter of the glass toppling and rolling across the counter, the high-pitched squeal of the lizard dying. Jon looks over and sees the lizard trapped in between Ryan's two razor-sharp front claws. Ryan's sharp mouth is attached to the still-struggling lizard's neck; he must be holding on or trying to bite through the neck of the lizard, because, within a few moments, the lizard is stilled, trapped in Ryan's hold. 

"Wow, holy shit," Alex breathes out; he tears his gaze away from Ryan to look at Jon. "Ross is a pretty badass mantis." Jon just feels queasy. By no means does he want to hang around here and watch Ryan devour the lizard he caught. 

"You want to go smoke up? It might help us think," Jon suggests. Alex nods, a smile sliding on his face. 

"Yeah, dude, let's let Ross finish his meal." 

Jon wants to ask Ryan if he'll be okay here on the counter alone, but it’s not like Ryan could even implement the clicking system, because his claws are full of dead lizard. Jon and Alex go back to the couch. Alex must have been planning on smoking up, with or without Jon, because the pipe and weed are sitting out on the coffee table. 

Alex and Jon take turns passing the pipe back and forth, gray smoke curling around them. The smoking isn't helping Jon come up with a way to change Ryan back, but Alex seems to be full of them. 

"Okay, what if we take him to, like...a Voodoo princess?" Alex starts, his eyes slightly widened, like he's having some kind of amazing revelation. "Because they can totally undo curses, right?" he asks. Jon shrugs. He doesn't think Ryan is cursed. Shitty luck? Definitely. Cursed? Probably not. 

"When this sort of shit happens in stories, isn't the main character supposed to learn some kind of lesson or something?" Jon asks. He's thinking of those fables with the morals in them, something the afflicted person should take away from the experience. Is there something Ryan should be learning? 

"Maybe Ross is supposed to be learning like...how not to take things in his life for granted?" Alex suggests. Jon ponders this. 

The two men continue smoking; Alex tosses out more ideas. "A magician, Jon! Magicians are helpful people, right?" Alex also suggests going to the library or trying to find some girls that are into the occult. Needless to say, Jon is ignoring his suggestions. 

"I got it this time!" Alex says suddenly. He shoots straight up on the couch, his hand gripping Jon's bicep. Jon tilts his head to the side as he blows out some smoke, waiting for Alex's explanation. "You gotta kiss him, dude!" 

"What? That's even more ridiculous than the magician idea," Jon tells him.

"No, no, Jon! It's like the story with the princess and the frog, you know? Someone's gotta kiss Ryan to turn him back into a human." 

"Well, there you go, someone has to kiss him. You can do it, Alex," Jon points out. Alex releases Jon's bicep. 

"No way, it has to be you," Alex says, like he's never been more sure of anything in his entire life. 

"Why?" The thought of putting his mouth on Ryan's new insect body makes an unenthusiastic shiver run down Jon's spine. Alex gives Jon a very knowing look. 

"It's pretty obvious to me and about half of your Twitter followers, but if you want me to explain it to you, I will," Alex says. Jon scoffs, but he can't help the slight flush that creeps up across his cheekbones. Judging by the way Alex is grinning, he didn't miss it, either. 

"Whatever, life isn't a fairytale, and I'm pretty sure that kissing is not going to solve whatever is going on here," Jon says firmly. Alex just shrugs and looks warily back at the kitchen. 

***

The rest of the night passes without Ryan changing back or Jon and Alex having any helpful ideas. Jon wasn't aware that mantises could clean themselves, almost like a bastardized version of a cat, but Ryan did just that after he devoured the lizard. Neither Jon nor Alex knows what to do with Ryan for the rest of the night. They play music that Ryan likes and pop in a movie – they're not sure if Ryan's really aware of the pictures on screen or if he can even see well enough to tell what's going on, but he sits on the coffee table, his shoebox next to him as he sways slightly. 

When it gets late enough and Jon's tired, both physically and mentally, they decide to go to bed. Jon does _not_ trust Alex to handle Ryan during the night, so he carries Ryan's shoebox into his bedroom. Jon sets Ryan's box down on the nightstand next to his bed. Ryan had been crouched down while Jon was moving, the motion from Jon's steps shaking his box too much for Ryan's liking. 

Jon sits down on his bed and Ryan straightens himself out. "I know sleeping in a shoebox won't be very comfortable, but it's all we've got," Jon tells his friend-turned-mantis. Ryan makes a low hissing noise. Jon wishes he knew more about the sleeping habits of mantises. Jon crawls into the guest bed. Ryan is staring at him with those huge eyes. "I wish I could do more for you, Ryan," Jon tells him. Ryan hisses softly. Jon waits until Ryan crouches down into what he can only assume is a sleeping position before he turns off the lamp on the nightstand. 

As he tries to fall asleep, Jon goes over all the options he had. What if this was something that could never be changed? What if Ryan has to spend the rest of life living as a mantis? It's a thought that worms its way into Jon's head and stays there, preventing him from falling asleep. Ryan's soft hisses, the slight rustle of his body against the shoebox, the occasional possibly accidental clicks – they're all things that keep Jon awake. 

He must've fallen asleep at some point during the night, though, because the next thing Jon knows, it's morning and sunlight is filtering through the windows, warming his skin. He cracks an eye open. He's still so tired and his mind isn't fully functioning quite yet, so when Jon looks down and sees Ryan's long, green body cuddled down on top of his blanket-covered chest, it's not really his fault that he lets out a less-than-manly squeal and throws the blankets to the floor. It's only after he's sitting in the middle of his bed, legs pulled up to his knees, that he remembers just who that mantis is. 

"Oh, shit, Ryan?" Jon asks quickly. The lump of blankets isn't moving. Jon is terrified that he's accidentally killed Ryan. He gets back down on the floor, careful not to accidentally step on any spot that Ryan could be occupying. Jon lifts the blanket up slowly, praying that there's not a dead mantis under there...a dead Ryan. Ryan is down on the floor, looking alive but dazed, and Jon is so relieved that he throws the blanket on to the bed and scoops Ryan up into his hands instantly. 

Ryan starts hissing and clicking and Jon knows that he's pissed him off. "I'm sorry, Ryan," Jon starts, "you startled me, okay? It was an accident." Ryan is still hissing. His head turns around to stare at Jon, who barely represses the shiver that threatens to run through him. Suddenly, Alex is standing in the doorway to the guest bedroom, his eyes wide. 

"Thank God! I totally thought I was gonna find out that you were a mantis, too, Walker," Alex says, his hand on his chest, like he's calming himself down. "What happened?"

"Ryan surprised me."

"Oh, dude, did he shit in your hand? I don't think he can control that anymore," Alex points out. Seriously? Alex makes Jon want to slap him sometimes. 

"No, man, he was sleeping on me." 

Ryan suddenly opens his wings and flutters through the air before he lands squarely on the top of Alex's head. Jon's really surprised that Ryan can fly so well considering just how ungraceful he is as a human. Alex rolls his eyes upwards to try and see Ryan, but he can't.

"Looks like you upset him, Jon," Alex says. "Did he upset you Ryan?" Alex asks. There are two clicks from Ryan. "He's totally lying," Alex laughs. Ryan hisses threateningly at him.

Alex and Ryan leave the room. Ryan must be getting better at using his new limbs, because he slides down and clings to Alex's sweater, barely moving at all as Alex walks. Jon sits on the bed and sighs; he really didn't mean to hurt Ryan. He would never do that. 

A soft chiming noise lifts Jon from his thoughts. He realizes pretty quickly that someone's cell phone is going off. Jon follows the sound and finds Ryan's cell vibrating across the top of the dresser in the guest bedroom. He doesn't know why Ryan's cell is in his temporary room, nor does he remember grabbing it before bed last night, but it's here all the same. 

Jon checks Ryan's cell; it's a text message. More importantly, it's a text message from Spencer. 

"Shit," Jon mutters as he checks the message. 

_Ryan, what the hell? We were supposed to go to dinner last night, remember? Brendon won't stop pouting_ , the message reads. Jon focuses and tries to reply to Spencer in a way he that thinks Ryan would. He's been around the two of them long enough that it should be no problem pretending to be him. 

_Sorry, Spence. Jon and I were fucking around on some tracks and Alex came over to help. Tell B I don't hate him. Reschedule soon?_

Jon pockets Ryan's phone as he waits for a message back from Spencer. He thinks that maybe he should go see what Alex and Ryan are doing or at least make sure that Ryan is still alive. Jon pads out into the living room, but Alex and Ryan aren't there. They aren't in the kitchen, either, so Jon figures they must be outside. A little knot of worry tightens in his stomach, because so many things could happen to Ryan outside! There's birds and other mantises and what if Ryan's not good at being a mantis and gets eaten or something equally as horrible?

Jon goes to push the glass door open and tell Alex to keep a good eye on Ryan when Ryan's cell buzzes noisily in his pocket. 

_Jon? Why are you checking Ryan's phone? Where is he?_

Jon doesn't see any possible way for Spencer to know that he's the one texting him, not Ryan, but he chalks it up to that weird best friend connection and doesn't bother answering Spencer just yet. Jon pushes the door open to find that Alex has Ryan sitting in the palm of his hand. 

“I’m keeping him safe, Walker,” Alex calls across the yard. 

“Watch for birds,” Jon replies. He remembers seeing some nature program about these insane birds that swoop down out of nowhere and snatch up squirrels and bugs and shit. Jon does not want Ryan to turn into anyone’s meal. 

“Yes, mother,” Alex jokes. Jon rolls his eyes before going inside and making himself a cup of coffee. This is the second day that Ryan is a mantis and Jon still has no solid plan of what to do. It’s a pretty bleak situation when Alex’s idea is the best idea. 

An idea hits Jon midway through his second cup of coffee while his mind is drifting back to Chicago and his cats. They can take Ryan to a pet store. Jon calls Alex inside; he strides back in with Ryan clinging to the shoulder of his shirt, climbing down his arm to sit on the counter near the coffee maker. 

“We should take him to a pet shop,” Jon says. Alex arches an eyebrow, like Jon is the one with the insane idea. 

“A pet shop? Why? It’s not like they make mantis leashes.” Alex stops and tilts his head, like he’s pondering the idea. “Except that’d be pretty cool, actually.” Jon sighs into his cup of coffee, warm air rushing back at his face. 

Jon drains the rest of his coffee before he sets the cup down on the counter. Ryan extends his multicolored wings and flutters the short distance between Alex’s shoulder and the counter where he lands with a small thud and skitters over to Jon’s cup. 

“Ryan, don’t try to drink that! Coffee could kill you,” Jon tells him. Ryan hisses what is most likely an objection, but he ignores the cup and settles down on the counter instead. Jon turns his attention back to Alex. “Anyway, we take Ryan to the pet store. You never know...they might have some information that could help.”

“Oh, yeah, they have a whole aisle just dedicated to people who spontaneously change into animals,” Alex says sarcastically. 

“Hey, it’s still better than your idea, Greenwald.”

In Jon’s pocket, Ryan’s phone buzzes again. Jon doesn’t even need to look to see that it’s Spencer.

Jon never does reply to Spencer’s text. Yeah, he figures that it’ll serve to piss Spencer off, but, really, Spencer being mad that Jon isn’t answering him is still better than the alternative: Spencer knowing the truth and flipping his shit all over everyone in California.

Jon gets Alex to agree to drive them to the pet store. It’s hot out today, the sun beating through the back of Jon’s shirt. He can’t even reach up to wipe the sweat off his forehead, because he’s carrying Ryan’s shoebox. Ryan doesn’t seem to like the heat much. He’s lying in the bottom of his box, buried underneath his leaves and sticks. 

Alex comes out of Ryan’s house with his keys in hand this time. “Found ‘em!” Alex proclaims happily. “You were right; they were in the bathroom, which is pretty weird.”

“Just unlock the door, man. I’m worried that it’s too hot out here for Ryan,” Jon says. Alex grins at him. “The way you’re so overprotective of him is adorable.”

Jon sets Ryan’s box down on the roof of the car so that he can pull open the passenger side door. He slides into the car, box in hand, before he’s buckled up with Ryan’s shoebox settled on his lap. 

“Don’t you think,” Alex starts as they pull out of Ryan’s driveway, “that this situation could all be taken care of easily if you just went ahead and put my idea into action?” 

Jon still shivers at the thought of his mouth on Ryan’s bright-green, plastic-looking skin. 

“Your idea is based on a fairy tale. You know that, right?” 

Alex grins wide. “Ryan loves fairy tales.”

Jon eyes Alex carefully, because he’s grinning like a maniac. He’s usually never this bad when Ryan is around; even though Ryan’s still with them, sitting in a box on Jon’s lap, Jon already misses him. 

Ryan is quiet the whole ride. Jon thinks maybe he should have caught some lizards for Ryan before they left. The drive to the pet shop doesn’t take long and Jon is careful as he gets out of the car, Ryan’s shoebox in hand. He’s trying to think of a suitable way to ask for help without sounding like a lunatic. 

The shop isn’t really busy, but it is big with sprawling sections of toys for dogs and cats. If this wasn’t serious business, Jon would look around for Dylan and Clover and Marley. Instead, Jon walks up to the first guy he sees wearing the bright blue shirt that makes up the worker’s uniforms, Ryan’s shoebox tight in his hands. 

“Can I help you, sir?” the guy asks, staring at Jon’s shoebox expectantly. 

“I, um...yeah, see, I have a mantis,” Jon says as he shifts the top off the shoebox. Ryan pokes up out of the hidden safety of his leaves and sticks and hooks his claws over the edge of the box as he peers around curiously. The worker nods and looks down at Ryan before he looks back up at Jon. 

“And you need some information about owning one?” the guy guesses. Jon nods. 

“I’ve been feeding him lizards…and leaves.” Jon suddenly feels like a bad pet owner if the look the guy is giving him says anything. 

“You know we have crickets? Domestic ones usually eat crickets,” the guy says. “Do you know how old this one is?” Jon’s a little uncomfortable with referring to Ryan as anything less than a person; he almost slips and says twenty-three, but he just barely manages to catch himself. He bites his lip and shakes his head. “Do you mind?” the worker asks, making like he wants to pick Ryan up. 

“Um…go for it. Be good, Ryan,” Jon pleads quietly. The worker lifts Ryan out of the box. Ryan sits all spindly-limbed on the dude’s palm, his front claws clicking nervously. The guy peers at Ryan and hems and haws until setting Ryan back in the shoebox. 

“This one is an adult, which means it has at least three more months or so to live,” the worker says way too casually. Jon blinks once, twice, before he swallows down the fear that’s sticking thickly in his throat. 

“Three months? Why?” Jon croaks out. Ryan’s head is swiveling around; he’s hissing and clicking almost hysterically. The worker glances down at Ryan before he meets Jon’s gaze. 

“Yeah, man, praying mantises have a real short lifespan, usually four or five months tops… some make it to a whole year. Sorry.” This guy probably figures that Jon’s just a dude who found a mantis, maybe a guy who likes his pet mantis a little too much. Jon can guarantee that this guy has no fucking idea that he’s telling Jon that his best friend is going to die in a matter of months unless Jon and Alex can think of a way to change him back. 

Jon breathes deeply, blowing out air on a long exhale. Ryan is still hissing desperately. 

“Yeah, um, thanks,” Jon says. He clutches Ryan’s box tighter, the guy raising an eyebrow. 

“Don’t forget his crickets! It’ll help keep him healthy!” the worker calls after Jon. Jon just nods and slides away. His mind is sort of blurry; he’s basically running on autopilot as he searches the store for Alex…and crickets. Ryan will need crickets. 

Ryan’s clicking his claws, like he’s desperately trying to gain Jon’s attention. Jon looks down at his friend-turned-mantis. Jon didn’t actually think that it was possible for a mantis to look so sad and terrified all at the same time. He reaches out and rubs the pad of his index finger against the smooth, plastic-y top of Ryan’s head, right between his antennas. Ryan lets Jon touch at him for a few long moments before he sinks back down into his shoebox, no doubt believing that he’s doomed. 

Jon finds Alex standing in front of the long line of fish tanks that are stacked row upon row. Alex is watching the brightly-colored fish dart back and forth in the tanks. Jon sighs deeply. There’s a little kid standing next to Alex; he’s short and staring at the row of aquariums just below Alex’s. 

“Greenwald,” Jon says. Alex turns around to face Jon. 

“Did the oh-so-wise pet shop employee know how to turn Ryan back?” Alex mocks. Jon scowls. The kid who’s standing at the aquariums turns around to face them. 

“Do you have an animal in that box? Can I see?” the kid asks. Ryan hisses a little, sounding more than alarmed, and Jon doesn’t blame him – kids were never his thing. 

“We have a mantis!” Alex says proudly. The kid’s eyes widen. Alex grins up at Jon. “Show ‘em, Jon.”

Jon begrudgingly lowers the box to the kid’s level and lets him look inside, his blonde head bowed over the box. 

“What’s its name?” the boy asks Alex. 

“His name is Ryan.”

The boy makes a face. “Ryan is a stupid name for a mantis.”

Ryan hisses and Alex makes a considering noise. “He’s right. Ryan is a stupid name for a praying mantis.” Ryan hisses again. Jon lifts the box back up, Ryan clicking his claws threateningly. “We should name him, like, Rex or something…Archibald? Something like that.”

“Come on, Greenwald, we gotta buy some crickets for him,” Jon says, curling his hand around Alex’s rail-thin arm and tugging him along until they’re at least out of earshot of the kid. 

“Hands off the merchandise, Walker. I bruise easy,” Alex says. Jon releases him. “Now, what did the dude say?” 

“He told me that we should feed Ryan cricket…also, he said, ah, that Ryan will die in three or four months,” Jon says sharply. Ryan hisses pitifully and Alex’s eyes widen almost comically. 

“He’ll die? That’s awfully drastic,” Alex says. He rubs at his chin, like he’s thinking over the situation, and Jon notes that he doesn’t have that distinct note of panic that Jon had been expecting. 

“It’s more than drastic. We’ve got to do something. He can’t die, Alex,” Jon states firmly and Alex nods. 

“Guess we’re down to one option now, aren’t we?” Alex says. Jon pointedly ignores him. 

The drive back to Ryan’s place is silent, save for the constant chirping of the container full of crickets that’s sitting in the backseat. 

***

Ryan’s in a foul mood once they get home, snapping his claws viciously in the air in what they determine is him wanting his meal. Alex pops the top of the cricket container and one hops out. Ryan lunges on it lightning-fast and it’s dead in seconds. Jon lets Alex deal with the crickets and the best way to feed them to Ryan after that. 

Jon goes back to the laptop, a cold beer sweating in his hand as he searches once again for solutions to Ryan’s predicament. Looking up people turning into animals does little more than bring up a bunch of quizzes that determine what your inner animal would be and a rather disturbing link to a sexual fetish web site. Searching for praying mantises isn’t much better, seeing as it leads to a bunch of nature videos. 

Jon finally breaks down and uses one of Alex’s ideas – not the kissing one, but he does look up voodoo and the occult. He goes through site after site, all the while hearing the vague sound of Alex talking to Ryan. If he listens close enough, Jon can hear the wet sound of Ryan eating the crickets. 

A few hours slip by and Jon’s already poured over hundreds of sites in the hopes of finding something helpful. Alex eventually comes back, Ryan’s shoebox in his hands. Ryan’s sitting inside, his head moving in those odd angles as he peers at Jon. 

“Find anything helpful, Walker?” Alex asks as he sets Ryan’s shoebox down on the couch between them. Jon sets his laptop down on the coffee table next to the four empty beer bottles sitting there. Jon stretches and shakes his head. 

“Nothing, though I’m pretty sure I’m capable of performing a love spell should the need ever arise.” 

Alex frowns. “We need to do something. Ross can’t die.” 

“I know,” Jon says flatly. He doesn’t even want to think about it. 

Alex sighs. “We don’t have a lot of options left.”

“I know.”

“You need to kiss him, Jon,” Alex pleads, like it’s something that could actually work as opposed to, you know, reality. Jon crinkles his nose. 

“Why don’t you kiss him?”

Alex scoffs. “I’m not his true love.” Jon turns carefully on the couch as to not knock Ryan over. 

“And what makes you think I am?” 

Alex narrows his eyes and stares hard at Jon; Jon stares right back until Alex gives up and rolls his eyes. “You’re so ridiculously in denial,” Alex mutters before he scoops Ryan up in his hand and brings him level to his face. “Ross, you’re lucky I’m a good friend, unlike someone else who’s sitting on this couch.” He leans in and presses a wet kiss to the top of Ryan’s insect head. Jon’s stomach tightens.

Alex pulls back and opens his eyes – and what the hell, did he really close his eyes for the kiss?

Nothing happens. Ryan hasn’t changed back; he’s just sitting there, making pissed-off noises. Alex sighs before he turns to Jon. 

“Told you it’s not supposed to be me.”

“Couldn't it just be that this idea is really ridiculous?” Jon asks.

“More ridiculous than the fact that Ryan is a mantis right now?” 

“Look,” Jon starts, “if it were under different circumstances, then sure, I would kiss Ryan, no problem, but this – ”

“Wait,” Alex says, his eyes lighting up. “You just admitted that you’d kiss Ross as a human.”

Jon falters, his mouth hanging open, like he should be denying something. Ryan twists his head to look over at Jon. 

“Shut up,” Jon says. “I need some sleep.” 

“Good idea,” Alex says, “maybe it takes, like, twenty-four hours for Ryan to change back from my kiss or something.” 

Jon picks up Ryan’s shoebox. Alex moves over to set Ryan back inside it. Ryan ducks down slightly so that he doesn’t wobble when Jon stands up. 

Jon puts Ryan back on the nightstand next to the bed. Ryan’s cell phone is still in Jon’s pocket, texts from Spencer still unanswered. “Um, Ryan, make sure you stay in your box tonight,” Jon tells him. Ryan hisses a little before he clicks his claws once, their sign for ‘yes.’ “Hey, it’s not because I don’t want you on the bed, it’s…I don’t want to squish you or something, you know?” Ryan clicks once again. 

Jon strips down to his t-shirt and boxers before he slides under the covers of the bed. The lamp on the nightstand is still on and Jon can see Ryan watching him. 

“Ryan, do you actually think the kissing idea would work?” Jon asks. He bites at his lip. Ryan seems to be thinking, his head tilting from side to side before he clicks his calls together once and then twice, like he’s not sure. “You’re not sure about it?” One click.

Ryan starts hissing, like he’s trying so badly to communicate beyond the clicks. Jon thinks, if he tries hard enough, he could understand. Ryan hisses soft and sad and scared; Jon thinks it means something like, ‘I don’t know if it will work, but I want you to please try.’ 

“Wish I could understand you again, Ryan,” Jon says. There’s this heavy weight of guilt on his chest that he wishes would go away. “But, hey, maybe what Alex did will work and you’ll be a human again when you wake up,” Jon says. Ryan clicks his claws once. 

Jon reaches out and turns off the light as Ryan settles down into his box. Jon’s not even sure mantises really sleep. “Night, Ryan,” Jon whispers into the darkness. Of course, Ryan can’t answer, not really, but Jon wishes that he could. 

There’s a reason beyond his general fear of praying mantises for why he won’t kiss Ryan. According to Alex, it’s sure to work, and if Jon tries it and it doesn’t…what other hope do they have? If he kisses Ryan and it doesn’t work, then Ryan is just doomed to die in a few months and Jon is nowhere near ready to face that thought. 

***

Alex comes bursting into Jon’s room at seven the next morning, his eyes wide and his chest heaving, like he’s expecting to see Ryan sitting there, human and smiling. Jon shoots up and blinks blearily, turning to look at Ryan’s box, because what if…

“Ryan,” Alex says. Ryan pops up out of the leaves and sticks, still bright-green, still only a foot tall, still a mantis. Alex’s face drops and Jon’s own heart sinks down in his chest. Ryan makes a soft, sleepy sound. Alex looks up to Jon and even he looks desperate now. 

It’s too early for the sun to be breaking brightly into Jon’s room. His head hurts and he’s sure there will be more texts from Spencer today. 

“Alex, let me sleep a little longer before you start trying to get me to kiss Ryan,” Jon says as he flops back down against the mattress. 

“Fine, I’ll go think of ways to save Ross’ life while you sleep.” Alex sounds more annoyed than Jon’s ever heard him and that heavy weight of guilt settles back on Jon’s chest. 

Jon can’t really get back to sleep, so he pulls himself up twenty minutes later, tired yet wide awake. He picks up Ryan’s box and wonders if they have any crickets left over. Alex is nowhere to be found. When Jon sets Ryan’s shoebox on the counter, he crawls out of it and stands near Jon’s splayed fingers. Jon makes coffee and Alex is still missing by the time he’s halfway through his first cup. 

“Did you eat all the crickets?” Jon asks Ryan. Two clicks. “Do you know where they are?” Jon asks. He’s used to this, only feels a little ridiculous talking to an insect now. Ryan clicks his claws once and then, before Jon can work out some system to figure out where the crickets are, Ryan is unfurling his wings and fluttering down to the floor. He skitters over to the cabinet under the sink and taps against it with his clawed arm. 

Jon kneels down, being careful of Ryan, and opens the cabinet. The carton of crickets is inside and Jon pops the top open after setting it on the floor in front of Ryan. The crickets left inside are already dead, because Alex forgot to poke holes in the top like the container had suggested. 

“You don’t mind if they’re already dead, right?” Jon asks Ryan, who’s sitting next to Jon’s knee. Jon hears two clicks and leaves Ryan on the floor to eat his breakfast. Jon drinks the rest of his cup of coffee while avoiding Ryan eating and wonders where Alex got off to. Really, Jon wouldn’t be surprised if Alex had abandoned them in their time of need. 

Jon is three quarters of the way done with his second cup of coffee when he hears Ryan’s phone going off from inside the guest bedroom, the ringtone chosen specifically for Spencer floating out of the room and into the air. 

“Shit,” Jon says. He really had been hoping that Brendon would keep Spencer too busy to bother texting or calling Ryan back. Jon goes and grabs the cell; luckily, it’s just a text message. 

_Still haven’t heard from you, Ryan. I’m coming out there tomorrow if you don’t call me back._

“I didn’t know Spencer worried about you so much, Ryan,” Jon says as he comes back. Ryan is sitting on the counter again, doing that weird, cat-like cleaning thing that freaks Jon out. Ryan hisses something that might be an affectionate jab at Spencer. 

After Ryan cleans himself off, he opens his wings again and flutters over to Jon’s shoulder, thin, little feet hooking into the soft fabric of Jon’s t-shirt. Jon eventually finds Alex outside, sitting under a tree, looking deep in thought – which, okay, this is Alex, so it isn’t actually that strange.

Alex notices Jon and Ryan and shakes his head as he comes back to the present. 

“What’s up, Walker? Did you kiss him?” 

“No. I fed him.” 

“The crickets?” Alex asks. Jon nods. 

“You forgot to poke holes in the container. They were all dead.” 

Alex scrunches his face up and scrubs at his chin. “Admittedly, they’re not the insect we should be worried about.” Really, he has a point.  
“Think of anything good out here?” Jon asks. He can feel Ryan moving slightly on his shoulder, a faint pressure, an urgent problem that Jon can’t allow himself to forget. Alex pushes himself up off the ground, wiping the dirt of his dark jeans, and nods.

“Since you’re still so anti-kiss-plan, I’ve decided that we could try the library,” Alex tells him. 

“If we do that, what are we supposed to do? Leave Ryan here alone?” That thought strikes fear deep in Jon’s chest. Alex shrugs. 

“What could happen?” 

“I’m not going to leave him alone, Alex,” Jon says firmly. Alex sighs, sounding thoroughly annoyed with Jon. 

“Fine, you stay here with Ross and I’ll go to the library,” Alex says as he turns away from them and goes back into the house. By the time Jon has followed, Alex already has his keys in hand and is heading out the front door. 

Jon’s limbs feel heavy and there’s a faint buzzing behind his eyes. He goes and sits on the couch, turning on his laptop in the hopes of maybe finding something helpful, but he’s already looked, and the prospects of searching for some miracle cure already has his stomach tightening unpleasantly. Ryan is still clutching to Jon’s shoulder. Even though he’s there, Jon feels so alone. 

He misses having Ryan around. He misses deep, dark eyes and shaggy, floppy hair; he misses Ryan’s voice and cheesy smile and the way they used to just sit around together. 

“Ryan, do you mind if I lie down?” Jon asks and Ryan clicks twice. Jon turns his palm facing up and Ryan crawls down his arm, ambling into Jon’s hand, sitting carefully as Jon kicks off his flip-flops and settles himself down on the couch. 

Ryan crawls out of Jon’s hand and settles on his chest. Jon reaches out and rubs the little spot between Ryan’s antennas. Ryan makes a soft noise, something akin to a purr, and it only freaks Jon out a little. It worries him that he’s slowly becoming used to Ryan’s new form. 

“Are you scared, Ryan?” Jon asks softly. It’s a stupid question – of course he’s scared. Jon would be scared if it were him that had suddenly changed. Ryan clicks once. Jon’s never wanted to hear Ryan’s voice more than right now. 

“Fuck, I’ve been being pretty selfish,” Jon mutters. Ryan doesn’t do anything. “I know that, if I had changed, you’d do whatever you could in the hopes to change me back. I’ve got to give you that same chance.”

Ryan hisses out what might be a question, but then Jon is leaning up and then down. He closes his eyes and pouts out his lips in an over-exaggerated kissing fashion. Jon picks Ryan back up and tries to think of anything, anything, but the fact that he’s about to put his mouth on an insect. Thinking of it as Ryan helps a little. 

Jon presses a tiny, damp kiss to the rubbery skin of Ryan’s mantis head and pulls back quickly, hoping with every inch of his being that, when he opens his eyes, he’s going to be looking at Ryan as a human, staring right into Ryan’s deep, brown eyes. When Jon does open his eyes, he’s not met with Ryan’s soft, human face, but with the tiny, foot-tall mantis still sitting in his palm. 

Jon sighs. “Fucking Greenwald and his idiotic ideas.” It was his worst fears come true. The kiss didn’t actually work and, by extension, if a kiss were to change Ryan back, then that meant that it’s not Jon’s kiss, which meant that Jon was not Ryan’s true love, and wait, since when was Jon admitting to himself that he wanted to be Ryan’s true love? 

Ryan hisses pathetically, obviously mirroring Jon’s own mood. Jon pets at Ryan’s head again. 

“It’ll be okay, Ryan,” Jon says. Ryan crumples down against Jon’s palm, lying there sadly. “I won’t stop trying to get you human again. I’ll kiss you however many times it takes, I promise.” Jon feels like he’s promising the impossible, something beyond their reach, but he won’t let Ryan know that he’s afraid. Someone has to stay strong. 

Jon lies back on the couch, Ryan still lying in his hand. The house is too quiet. It’s been far too many days since Jon’s hands have touched a guitar, but he’s sure Ryan misses it even more. Jon’s eyes slip closed and, right when he’s on the edge of tumbling into unconsciousness, he can feel Ryan moving slightly, shifting against his palm. 

Jon wakes up an hour later, the house still quiet. He’s all alone on the couch. The fact that Ryan is missing registers quickly in Jon’s mind. He snaps up, wild-eyed and worried. “Ryan?” he calls, like he’s expecting an answer beyond clicks or hisses. Jon’s heart is beating rapidly – what if he had moved and crushed Ryan? What if the guy at the pet shop had been wrong and Ryan’s lifespan was much shorter? Jon calls for Ryan again. 

He still doesn’t get an answer. Jon scans the floor and the area around the couch before he gingerly gets up to go and find Ryan. Jon doesn’t know where Ryan would go or what he could possibly be doing unless he was, like, hunting bugs or something. 

Jon’s in the kitchen when he notices that the glass sliding door is still open from when Alex had left for the library. The air pouring inside is warm and inviting and Jon feels his stomach drop down to his feet. What if Ryan went outside? What if he got lost or eaten or a female mantis mated with him or something? 

Jon steps just outside the door and scans the expanse of Ryan’s lush backyard. 

“Ryan?” Again, no response. The backyard is still and peaceful and Jon might be panicking just a little. He decides that he needs to call Alex. His cell phone is still sitting in the guest bedroom, along with Ryan’s. Jon pads through the house, trying to keep all those dark thoughts away, thinking about how he couldn’t keep the last promise he made to Ryan. 

Jon pushes into the room and skids to a stop just as suddenly, because he’s found Ryan. 

Except that Ryan is a human. 

“Ryan!” Jon yells. Ryan turns around – and, yeah, Ryan is completely fucking naked, but he’s grinning widely and Jon has missed that smile and, before he knows it, he’s rushing forward and gathering Ryan in his arms, tugging him in for a hug. 

“You’re alive! And you’re human…wait, how are you human?” Jon asks, his arms looped around Ryan’s neck. Ryan’s skin is soft and warm under his palms and not at all rubbery or green. 

“I don’t really know,” Ryan says, his voice rough from the total lack of use. Jon still thinks it’s the best sound he’s ever heard. “I fell asleep with you on the couch and then I woke up, but I felt really weird, so I climbed off you and then…I was just me again.” Ryan is still grinning hugely, happily, and Jon has to fight the sudden intense urge to taste that smile. 

Jon pulls Ryan close again and buries his face in the warm skin of Ryan’s neck. Ryan smells good and human and familiar. “I’m glad you’re not tiny and green,” Jon tells him. Ryan laughs and Jon can feel the weight he’s been holding slowly fall away. 

Really, he thought he had missed Ryan before, when Ryan was a mantis, but it’s only now that Ryan is actually here in front of him that Jon is realizing just how deeply he did miss Ryan. Jon would be content to just stand here and hang on to Ryan just to make sure that this was real and not some angst-induced dream Jon is having. He only decides that they should break apart once he feels the brush of Ryan’s dick against his thigh. 

Jon sort of jumps back. Ryan is blushing a little, his pale skin pinking slightly. 

“I was just getting ready to put some clothes on when you found me,” Ryan explains. He lowers his hand down as a means to cover himself. Jon fights to keep his gaze fixed on Ryan’s face. There are a million questions that Jon wants to ask Ryan – what being a mantis was like, what flying was like, if he feels completely normal – but he figures that all those things can wait, because Ryan is here and a person. 

“Well, I, um…I’ll let you get dressed. Are you hungry? I mean, the last thing you ate were the crickets and…”

Ryan pales at Jon’s words and nods. “Yeah, I could eat.”

“Cool. Well, you get dressed and I’ll make you something.”

Alex shows back up at the house halfway through Ryan’s meal. He walks in and stops dead in his tracks once he hits the kitchen. 

“Ross! You’re a human being again!” Alex proclaims. He scrambles over to Ryan and ruffles his hair. Ryan smiles around a mouthful of eggs that Jon had cooked for him. Alex looks from Ryan over to Jon, looking so fucking smug already. “Yyou finally took my advice, Walker? You kissed him?” 

Ryan chokes on his food and coughs harshly. Alex reaches out and thumps his hand against Ryan’s back, but he doesn’t tear his gaze away from Jon’s face. Jon narrows his eyes. 

“I did, but nothing happened. He was still a mantis and then we fell asleep; when I woke up, Ryan was human again.” 

“Didn’t I say that there might be a time delay?” Alex says. “The kiss is totally what changed Ryan back and that obviously means that you two are meant for each other!” 

Jon thinks Alex sounds way too excited about this idea. Jon falters and refuses to let his cheeks go flush. “What if he just changed back on his own?” 

Ryan is pushing his eggs around on his plate and not saying much. Jon’s a little worried, because Ryan’s a human again and he’d really like if Ryan would talk now. Alex plants his hands on his hips and arches an eyebrow at Jon. 

“Your kiss saved Ross’ life! You’re obviously soul mates! Which reminds me, since Ryan’s a human, I can finally go home now and let you two lovebirds have some alone time.” 

“Do not tweet about any of this. Ever,” Jon warns. Ryan snorts. 

“Who would believe him, anyway?” 

“That’s the spirit, Ross,” Alex says. He pats Ryan on the head again. “I’m glad you’re human. You should call me in a few days so that we can get back to the whole making-an-album thing.”

Ryan nods. Jon’s a little worried that there might be a song written about this. Alex grabs his keys and slides on some sunglasses before he’s heading out the backdoor – but not without turning back and calling, “You boys have fun now!” giving them a not-at-all subtle wink. 

Jon scratches a hand through his hair and shakes his head. “Dude’s got problems.” Ryan nods as he finishes up his eggs. “Oh, um, you should probably call Spencer before he loses his shit and drives out here,” Jon reminds him. Ryan laughs a little. 

“He’ll never believe me if I tell him the truth.”

“Brendon would,” Jon points out. Ryan nods in agreement. 

“True, Maybe I’ll just call him, instead.” 

There’s a comfortable silence between them as Ryan finishes his first real meal in two days and gets up to put the dish in the sink. “It feels weird,” Ryan says. Jon watches him carefully. “You know, to be back in my body. It feels…weird.” 

Jon stands up and stretches. “I bet. I’m just really glad that I don’t have to worry about stepping on you.” Ryan laughs at that. He moves towards Jon, a soft, little smile playing on his face. He stops right in front of Jon and Jon grins at him. 

“Thank you for taking such good care of me, Jon,” Ryan says softly. He loops his arms around Jon’s torso and tugs him in for a hug, closing the few small inches of space between them. Ryan’s got his face resting on Jon’s shoulder and Jon sighs happily before he can stop himself. 

“You’re welcome.”

“No, really, you protected me and I felt so safe with you,” Ryan says. He’s tilting his face up so that he can look into Jon’s eyes. “You saved me.”

Jon has this urge, this need, to reach out and touch Ryan just make sure he’s real, that he’s here and human, that he won’t go away again. “Do you really think that kiss was what did it?” Jon asks. He brings his hand up to cup Ryan’s cheek. Ryan’s solid, warm, here. 

“Maybe…when Alex kissed me, I didn’t feel any different, but…when you kissed me, well, I felt this, like...warmth inside me building up and it was there up until I changed back,” Ryan explains. Jon drags his thumb across Ryan’s cheekbone. 

“Oh.” That’s all Jon can think of to say. He’s thought about it, about kissing Ryan, about having more with Ryan. He bites his lip and looks down at Jon through his lashes. 

“If I hadn’t changed back, would you really have kept kissing me?” Ryan asks quietly. Jon slides his hand down to curve over Ryan’s neck. 

“I would’ve done anything if it even had the slightest possibility to bring you back, but, you know, you’re human now, so…I get to do this,” Jon says before he tilts his head and leans in close to Ryan, pressing their mouths together. 

The kiss is soft and chaste. Ryan’s hands fist in Jon’s t-shirt, holding him close. Ryan catches up quickly and snakes his tongue out to run across Jon’s lower lip. Jon opens his mouth. The kiss deepens and it’s perfect and warm and everything Jon was hoping it would be. 

Jon’s hand moves up, cupping the back of Ryan’s head to keep him close as Ryan’s tongue explores his mouth. Jon sighs contently into their kiss. He can feel Ryan’s smile. 

***

Alex calls an hour later when Ryan and Jon are both sprawled, lazy and half-naked, in Ryan’s bed.  
“You should answer that,” Ryan says. He’s got his head resting on Jon’s chest and his mouth looks all red and kiss-swollen. Jon rolls his eyes, but he answers his cell, anyway. 

“What is it, Greenwald?” 

“Well, you sound pretty happy, Walker. Did you get laid?” Alex asks. Jon sighs. 

“I’m gonna hang up.”

“No! No, now, come on, I’m calling for an important reason.” 

“Okay, what is it?” 

“Remember when we were trying to figure out why Ross got changed?” Alex says. 

“Mhm.”

“Well, I figured it out on the way home. Ryan changed so that you would realize how much you would miss him if he weren’t in your life,” Alex explains. Ryan sits up and scoffs. 

“That’s all well and good, Alex, but I’m ready to put this whole mantis thing behind me. Jon and I are pretty busy at the moment, so we’ll talk to you later,” Ryan says as he takes Jon’s cell phone and snaps it shut before he moves to straddle Jon once again. 

***

Alex gets home – well, to the place he’s temporarily sharing with Z and some of the other girls. She’s home, too, her car in the driveway. She’s sitting in the kitchen when Alex goes inside. She doesn’t look at all surprised to see him after his three-day absence.  
“You’re finally home. I take it either your plan succeeded or failed?” Z asks. Alex smiles. 

“For your information, Jon finally did what he was supposed to do and Ryan is now human again.”

Z doesn’t look impressed at this. “I still think a truth spell would’ve worked better than the animal spell,” she says. Alex rolls his eyes. 

“That takes all the fun out of it.”

“Being a witch isn’t all fun and games,” Z smirks. Alex narrows his eyes. 

“Wizard! I’m a wizard! Girls are witches!” Alex points out. 

“Long hair and a cape…counts as a witch to me,” Z tells him.

“Whatever. The point is that my spell got Ryan and Jon together and you owe me fifty bucks,” Alex says.

No matter what Z thinks, Alex knows he’s a good wizard.


End file.
